TMI + christmas

hey guys! 

so christmas is coming yay! 

and since christmas is coming, ( and cause of pure boredom ) , imma do the TMI tag YAY.
well you're supposed to do it on youtube, but since i'm not a youtuber i'll do mine here huehuehuhe
why not hehehheh no one's stopping me bahahahhhahah. ok imma start lol

1: What are you wearing?
    shirt and fbts lmao.

2: Ever been in love?
    i guess so.

3: Ever had a terrible breakup?
    no lol.

4: How tall are you?
    uhm.. 150 HAHA.

5: How much do you weigh?
    around 38-40kg?

6: Any tattoos?
    nope. 

7: Any piercings?
    only on my ears haha. 

8: OTP (One True Pairing)
    ASUNA AND KIRITO. 
    but i also like kaisoo and taeeun AHHA 

9: Favorite show
    sao. rewatched it countless times. 

10: Favorite bands
      i dont really have a specific band i like hahah.
     
11: Something you miss
      my lamb i lost 10 years ago.

12: Favorite song
      for now i like immortals aha. 

13: How old are you?
      turning 15 next year. ahem very soon ahem.

14: Zodiac sign
      dragoon.

15: Quality you look for in a partner
      he must be a friggin gentleman. someone who knows his manners.

16: Favorite Quote
      hahah the first thing that came into my mind was "you are the potato to my couch" HAHAH 
       creds to cheyenne lim shuang. 
      but a proper quote would probably be "ignorance is bliss" just because the word bliss sounds nice       HAAHHAHA. SO TUMBLRY. 

17: Favorite actor
      me laik josh hutcherson heheh.

18: Favorite color
      it changes. i like all so meh

19: Loud music or soft?
      soft. not too soft tho. 

20: Where do you go when you're sad?
      ma bed. or like, somewhere farfarfarfarfarfarfar away...

21: How long does it take you to shower?
      15-20 mins?? maybehh.

22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
      on school days like 45 mins to an hour HAHAH. 

23: Ever been in a physical fight?
      noop. 

24: Turn on
      hmmm guys with dimples maybe. 

25: Turn off
      super vulgar guys haha i'm sorry but it's a nono for me. 

26: The reason I joined Youtube
      imma skip. 

27: Fears
      i used to have a huge fear of the dark, now not so bad lah AHHA. 

28: Last thing that made you cry
      the last episode of sao pft. 

29: Last time you said you loved someone
      uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a few days ago..

30: Meaning behind your YouTube Name
     imma skip too lol. 

31: Last book you read
      everyday by david levithan. IM STILL READING IT PFT. 

32: The book you're currently reading
      ^ answered.

33: Last show you watched
      is lion king 2 counted hahah last video i watched was the pixar theory video lol.

34: Last person you talked to
      ehh my auntie. she asked me to close the door lol.

35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted
      uhm captains of each other's ships lmao what kind of-

36: Favorite food
      i love dem bk mexican drumlets bhahha.

37: Place you want to visit
      i wna go japannn. 

38: Last place you were
      school ugh

39: Do you have a crush?
      nah not now. aint nobody got time for dat.

40: Last time you kissed someone
      probably my brother lol. YOUNGER brother.

41: Last time you were insulted
      yesterday pft stupid cap.

42: Favorite flavor of sweet
      is coffee a flavor?

43: What instruments do you play
      piano, guitar ha ha ha ha.

44: Favorite piece of jewelry
     dem bracelet given by the bud AHAHA.

45: Last sport you played
      uhm idk i rarely play sports.

46: Last song you sang
      uhhhhh probably some christmas song tch AHAHHA IM FEELING FESTIVE GUYS. 

47: Favorite chat up line
      "YOU ARE MY POTATO TO MY COUCH" BAM. i still love that one.

48: Have you ever used it?
      no. HAHAHAHHAAH. i shall use it now. 

49: Last time you hung out with anyone
      with the gang last mondayyy hhaha. 

50: Who should answer these questions next?
      uhh whoever lah HAHAHHA i'm pretty sure everyone's too lazy to do this. 

ok yasss so merry christmas everyone! 

don't forget that there's a huge sale going on at h&m HAHA so buy dem clothes! 

i shall quote some christmas quote lol. totally got it from google HAHA.

Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.

so enjoy your last week of holidays loves!

 buy dem school books cos school starts in two weeks! 

@maryxtinylamb
    looneysea.tumblr.com

care too much

i know everyone has faced this before. caring too much.

people say that when you care too much, you'll just get hurt.

even though you know you'll get hurt, you continue caring.

you'll care for the person no matter what because he or she is important to you.

no matter what he or she says, you will continue to care because he or she is someone you love.


i care for people a bit too much that it hurts. no matter what you say to me, i will never give you up.

but now it has come to a point where caring too much affects our friendship, and affects me too.

sometimes i just think, what would have happened if i didn't care too much.

i care for you from afar.

you just don't realise it.

i don't know if you even realise all those small little hints in my messages.

(or maybe you just don't want to say anything about it.)

sometimes, it silently hurts when you don't notice my efforts.

sometimes, it silently hurts when you don't take me seriously.

and sometimes, it silently hurts when you reply me with a joke.

i just don't understand why i care for you so much when i don't even know if you feel the same way.

i don't understand why i'm always having you in my mind.

i don't understand why or how you became so important to me and that i'm scared to lose you.

or maybe i'm just scared because i'm not as important to you than you are to me.

i'm scared of losing you one day.

but at the same time sometimes i just think of ending our friendship.

because it hurts me to see you hurt,

and it hurts me because i can't do anything about it.

would ending our friendship mean anything to you?

or maybe you wouldn't even feel a thing.

cause again, i'm not as important to you than you are to me.

then again, maybe if we did i'd still be caring for you from afar.

because i just care too much.


(p.s. this is not a love confession lol.)

@maryxtinylamb
    looneysea.tumblr.com

how can love be so unkind

You say, that you've always been true
Looking in your eyes, I see you lie
You're trying hard to hide that
There someone new you found and,
You want me to believe that you still care

How can you hurt me this way
Everything I knew was loving you
How could you try pretending
Your love was never ending
Now you can't even say that you will stay

I can't seem to understand
How can love be so unkind
Still you broke my heart
Despite what I've done
Still my love was not enough
Though I given you my all
I can't take it anymore

How could you say you love me
When you would go and leave me
How could you make me hurt so bad
When I have loved you more than anyone can do
Can't believe the pain
That I'm feeling now because of loving you

@maryxtinylamb
    looneysea.tumblr.com

"Oh Mary, you've changed."

since i'm doing tbh on askfm now, i'll write one tbh here hehe;
tbh i wanted to blog about my ndp experience last month but it'd take years to type out all of the details so i gave up haha.

anyways.
today i realised that i was so oblivious to what was going on around me. i realised that i had been so blind this whole time. all this time i was just in my own world, thinking that everything was perfect. but no. of course it couldn't be.

for the past few weeks i have been hearing different stories from different people in my class. they all had different views of different matters. and when i collected all these 'data', i realised that i was being blindfolded the whole time. I didn't realise of how some people hated others, or of how some people are backstabbing each other without them knowing (not referring to anyone here. just in case some of my classmates are hating on me.)

i realised that i actually had a lot of people disliking me. and i actually wasn't aware of this cos initially i just didn't care. i just didn't bother. but when people said they started disliking me because they say that i've changed, do you even know anything?

if you said that "oh Mary, you've changed." how are you to know that? perhaps i did because i became stricter than before. but then again if you said i've changed because of the fact that i've been appointed as a councilor, think again. 

why am i asking you all to pull up your socks? why am i asking you all to stand up for morning assembly? why am i asking you all to keep quiet? (note: common sense?)
i'm sure you guys already know all the answers to these questions. those are simple school rules that i'm asking you guys to obey to.

from the start i didn't even want to change. i didn't want my primary school friends to change, in fact i didn't like change. i didn't choose to change, and those who said that i've changed a lot, i didn't even realise it myself.

so what if i've changed? who are you to judge me? do i still treat you the same way? have you known me long enough to know if i've actually changed from this kind of person to another? cos last time i checked, only my parents (and my sis) have known me well since birth.

moving on to another issue,
i don't like how some people are so full of words behind others' backs but when they face the person they become completely mute. they say so many things, so many swear words, so many complains, but they don't even dare to open their mouths when the person is right in front of them. isn't it a little illogical? i mean if you hate that person or how that person acts, just tell them. then they'd stop whatever they were doing to piss you off. wouldn't that solve the problem?

say it straight to my face of what you don't like about me, at least the outcome would be that i'd improve myself for you. wouldn't you want that? or maybe you wouldn't cos then you won't have anything to gossip about anymore. these kind of people are seriously weird.

moving on to the last one.
don't you find it a little stupid when someone's already pissed off and you still want to piss her off by joking. put yourself in her shoes. if you were the one who was pissed off and someone still continues mocking you. how'd you feel?

how to solve this? just shut up and don't say anything. why add fuel to the fire when you can extinguish it by keeping your mouth shut.

i usually try my best to keep my cool if my class gets out of control. you guys should be lucky that i don't just go around shouting at people. i'm still capable of that though.



and so lastly, whoever who finds anything annoying about me, be it my laugh, or my bad attitude (whatever it may be cos honestly i don't see anything 'bad' in my attitude), i'm sorry. so just have a mature mind and just friggin get over it. don't go plotting for revenge cos honestly that's just childish. ]


@maryxtinylamb
    looneysea.tumblr.com

it's ironic

in this mad world
where people hate society.
society is filled with hypocrites.
society talks about itself.
the sad truth is that
whoever is talking about society
is the society.
even i am a part of this society.
everyone is a part of the society.
yet everyone hates it.
it's ironic
of how people indirectly
talk about themselves.
it's ironic 
of how bullies say
"society sucks".
it's ironic
of how such judgmental people
say that the society is bad.
but then again
the real question is
at the end of the day
who is society?

(now the word society sounds weird.)

@maryxtinylamb
    looneysea.tumblr.com