be sad, love.
feel worthless.
feel dumb.
feel sad.
be broken.
but keep your eyes wide open, love.
feel worth it.
feel smart.
feel good.
be happy.
at the other side, someone is feeling the exact same way as you.
everyone's feeling the same way as you.
but what do they do about it?
they keep it in.
because they look out for those who are suffering the same way.
because they know exactly how it feels.
be strong, love.
# jasmine thompson ; drop your guard.
@maryxtinylamb
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Sunday, March 29, 2015
two-faced
have you ever felt so worthless.
when everyone's just against you, and you feel like you're lower than dirt.
when your world is just crashing down and all of your emotions are just messed up.
when you don't even know how to feel, what to even feel and what's your next step.
- the second face.
people are two-faced.
the first face is the face they show to everyone — the happy face.
the face that everyone sees, not knowing what is happening behind the mask.
they don't question themselves, asking 'is this person really okay?' or 'i wonder if she's forever joyful' because they're just so occupied with their own things. everyone says a 'hello' to the first face, and the first face greets back a warm 'hey', but deep inside hides the second face.
the second face is what everyone has. the face they dare not show anyone. the shy face which actually shows so much more emotion than the first. but the second face never appears. it appears at night, when almost the whole world is sleeping.
when the second face can't take the pain anymore, it will take out a razor and start sharpening it's emotions, cutting off all the pain away, but leaving scars. the second face says 'hey it's okay, the first face will clean up the mess for me.' and so the first face does.
the first face wears a jacket, or perhaps many bracelets, or maybe even covering it with concealer, hiding all of the damage that the second face has done. the first face tells everyone who asks that it just "accidentally" scratched itself somewhere, and "everything is fine". but is it? no. and the second face will know this very well.
at the end of the day, both faces are the same person. and either way, the person is hurting herself.
when everyone's just against you, and you feel like you're lower than dirt.
when your world is just crashing down and all of your emotions are just messed up.
when you don't even know how to feel, what to even feel and what's your next step.
- the second face.
people are two-faced.
the first face is the face they show to everyone — the happy face.
the face that everyone sees, not knowing what is happening behind the mask.
they don't question themselves, asking 'is this person really okay?' or 'i wonder if she's forever joyful' because they're just so occupied with their own things. everyone says a 'hello' to the first face, and the first face greets back a warm 'hey', but deep inside hides the second face.
the second face is what everyone has. the face they dare not show anyone. the shy face which actually shows so much more emotion than the first. but the second face never appears. it appears at night, when almost the whole world is sleeping.
when the second face can't take the pain anymore, it will take out a razor and start sharpening it's emotions, cutting off all the pain away, but leaving scars. the second face says 'hey it's okay, the first face will clean up the mess for me.' and so the first face does.
the first face wears a jacket, or perhaps many bracelets, or maybe even covering it with concealer, hiding all of the damage that the second face has done. the first face tells everyone who asks that it just "accidentally" scratched itself somewhere, and "everything is fine". but is it? no. and the second face will know this very well.
at the end of the day, both faces are the same person. and either way, the person is hurting herself.
i'm fine guys, everything is fine.
- the first face.
this was a pointless blogpost, so don't go criticizing it asking why i wrote this in the first place. this whole thing was written with my whole heart, of what i'm feeling now and what i want to write. own blog, own perspective, own emotions, nothing owned by you.
@maryxtinylamb
looneysea.tumblr.com
Friday, February 20, 2015
good morning and goodnight
It's already mid-Feb and only now then i updating blog lmao ahahah.
Ok so anyways, I'm back. Nothing new here since I rarely update.
Sec 3 life has been fun so far, and not to mention very stressful.
There's so many things going on at the same time, and it always seems like I'm not having enough time for myself anymore. Everyone needs to have their own down time every now and then, and it's so hard to find that time I need for myself, since everyday's a new day and a new adventure.
Everything is starting to pile up though. After something finishes, a new project comes, and the worrying is endless. For now I'm still able to cope with my studies, and hope that I'll be able to maintain this until after CAs, since I'm not having any kind of tuition now hahah. (but sure will die for amaths lah lol)
-
Many people have taught me that i shoudn't fully depend on people, especially when they don't even seem to care. They just sweet talk you to make you believe in them, but when you're drowning by yourself, they dont come to save you. They leave you drowning, gasping for air.
This year I want to make a change. I don't want to be that carefree mary that i always was, I want to be more careful in choosing who my real friends are because;
Sometimes we're just too blind to see that someone is always there for us when we're chasing after someone that never gives us the attention we deserve.
Sometimes we just have to open our eyes and see what we fail to see.
Sometimes you just got to ask yourself, who's really there for you?
Who's the person that truly cares about you?
Who's the person that will never fail to greet you good morning and goodnight when no one else does?
Who's the person that accepts you for you are, no matter how beautiful or ugly you are on the inside and outside?
Who's the person who will always love you no matter what?
Remember, God gave us eyes not to just see, but to also find and look for the ones that genuinely like and accept you.
Never take anyone for granted. Always open up, look around you. When you think that you're all alone, wake up. Someone is there for you. You just fail to see it.
So imma end it here. Happy Chinese New Year to everyone! I'm going to end this off by sharing with you some of the photos from the impromptu shoot with my fam yesterday (:
@maryxtinylamb
looneysea.tumblr.com
Ok so anyways, I'm back. Nothing new here since I rarely update.
Sec 3 life has been fun so far, and not to mention very stressful.
There's so many things going on at the same time, and it always seems like I'm not having enough time for myself anymore. Everyone needs to have their own down time every now and then, and it's so hard to find that time I need for myself, since everyday's a new day and a new adventure.
Everything is starting to pile up though. After something finishes, a new project comes, and the worrying is endless. For now I'm still able to cope with my studies, and hope that I'll be able to maintain this until after CAs, since I'm not having any kind of tuition now hahah. (but sure will die for amaths lah lol)
-
Many people have taught me that i shoudn't fully depend on people, especially when they don't even seem to care. They just sweet talk you to make you believe in them, but when you're drowning by yourself, they dont come to save you. They leave you drowning, gasping for air.
This year I want to make a change. I don't want to be that carefree mary that i always was, I want to be more careful in choosing who my real friends are because;
Sometimes we're just too blind to see that someone is always there for us when we're chasing after someone that never gives us the attention we deserve.
Sometimes we just have to open our eyes and see what we fail to see.
Sometimes you just got to ask yourself, who's really there for you?
Who's the person that truly cares about you?
Who's the person that will never fail to greet you good morning and goodnight when no one else does?
Who's the person that accepts you for you are, no matter how beautiful or ugly you are on the inside and outside?
Who's the person who will always love you no matter what?
Remember, God gave us eyes not to just see, but to also find and look for the ones that genuinely like and accept you.
Never take anyone for granted. Always open up, look around you. When you think that you're all alone, wake up. Someone is there for you. You just fail to see it.
So imma end it here. Happy Chinese New Year to everyone! I'm going to end this off by sharing with you some of the photos from the impromptu shoot with my fam yesterday (:
@maryxtinylamb
looneysea.tumblr.com
Monday, December 22, 2014
TMI + christmas
hey guys!
so christmas is coming yay!
well you're supposed to do it on youtube, but since i'm not a youtuber i'll do mine here huehuehuhe
why not hehehheh no one's stopping me bahahahhhahah. ok imma start lol
1: What are you wearing?
shirt and fbts lmao.
2: Ever been in love?
i guess so.
3: Ever had a terrible breakup?
no lol.
4: How tall are you?
uhm.. 150 HAHA.
5: How much do you weigh?
around 38-40kg?
6: Any tattoos?
nope.
7: Any piercings?
only on my ears haha.
8: OTP (One True Pairing)
ASUNA AND KIRITO.
but i also like kaisoo and taeeun AHHA
9: Favorite show
sao. rewatched it countless times.
10: Favorite bands
i dont really have a specific band i like hahah.
11: Something you miss
my lamb i lost 10 years ago.
12: Favorite song
for now i like immortals aha.
13: How old are you?
turning 15 next year. ahem very soon ahem.
14: Zodiac sign
dragoon.
15: Quality you look for in a partner
he must be a friggin gentleman. someone who knows his manners.
16: Favorite Quote
hahah the first thing that came into my mind was "you are the potato to my couch" HAHAH
creds to cheyenne lim shuang.
but a proper quote would probably be "ignorance is bliss" just because the word bliss sounds nice HAAHHAHA. SO TUMBLRY.
17: Favorite actor
me laik josh hutcherson heheh.
18: Favorite color
it changes. i like all so meh
19: Loud music or soft?
soft. not too soft tho.
20: Where do you go when you're sad?
ma bed. or like, somewhere farfarfarfarfarfarfar away...
21: How long does it take you to shower?
15-20 mins?? maybehh.
22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
on school days like 45 mins to an hour HAHAH.
23: Ever been in a physical fight?
noop.
24: Turn on
hmmm guys with dimples maybe.
25: Turn off
super vulgar guys haha i'm sorry but it's a nono for me.
26: The reason I joined Youtube
imma skip.
27: Fears
i used to have a huge fear of the dark, now not so bad lah AHHA.
28: Last thing that made you cry
the last episode of sao pft.
29: Last time you said you loved someone
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a few days ago..
30: Meaning behind your YouTube Name
imma skip too lol.
31: Last book you read
everyday by david levithan. IM STILL READING IT PFT.
32: The book you're currently reading
^ answered.
33: Last show you watched
is lion king 2 counted hahah last video i watched was the pixar theory video lol.
34: Last person you talked to
ehh my auntie. she asked me to close the door lol.
35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted
uhm captains of each other's ships lmao what kind of-
36: Favorite food
i love dem bk mexican drumlets bhahha.
37: Place you want to visit
i wna go japannn.
38: Last place you were
school ugh
39: Do you have a crush?
nah not now. aint nobody got time for dat.
40: Last time you kissed someone
probably my brother lol. YOUNGER brother.
41: Last time you were insulted
yesterday pft stupid cap.
42: Favorite flavor of sweet
is coffee a flavor?
43: What instruments do you play
piano, guitar ha ha ha ha.
44: Favorite piece of jewelry
dem bracelet given by the bud AHAHA.
45: Last sport you played
uhm idk i rarely play sports.
46: Last song you sang
uhhhhh probably some christmas song tch AHAHHA IM FEELING FESTIVE GUYS.
47: Favorite chat up line
"YOU ARE MY POTATO TO MY COUCH" BAM. i still love that one.
48: Have you ever used it?
no. HAHAHAHHAAH. i shall use it now.
49: Last time you hung out with anyone
with the gang last mondayyy hhaha.
50: Who should answer these questions next?
uhh whoever lah HAHAHHA i'm pretty sure everyone's too lazy to do this.
ok yasss so merry christmas everyone!
don't forget that there's a huge sale going on at h&m HAHA so buy dem clothes!
i shall quote some christmas quote lol. totally got it from google HAHA.
Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.
so enjoy your last week of holidays loves!
buy dem school books cos school starts in two weeks!
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@maryxtinylamb
looneysea.tumblr.com
Thursday, November 13, 2014
care too much
i know everyone has faced this before. caring too much.
people say that when you care too much, you'll just get hurt.
even though you know you'll get hurt, you continue caring.
you'll care for the person no matter what because he or she is important to you.
no matter what he or she says, you will continue to care because he or she is someone you love.
i care for people a bit too much that it hurts. no matter what you say to me, i will never give you up.
but now it has come to a point where caring too much affects our friendship, and affects me too.
sometimes i just think, what would have happened if i didn't care too much.
i care for you from afar.
you just don't realise it.
i don't know if you even realise all those small little hints in my messages.
(or maybe you just don't want to say anything about it.)
sometimes, it silently hurts when you don't notice my efforts.
sometimes, it silently hurts when you don't take me seriously.
and sometimes, it silently hurts when you reply me with a joke.
i just don't understand why i care for you so much when i don't even know if you feel the same way.
i don't understand why i'm always having you in my mind.
i don't understand why or how you became so important to me and that i'm scared to lose you.
or maybe i'm just scared because i'm not as important to you than you are to me.
i'm scared of losing you one day.
but at the same time sometimes i just think of ending our friendship.
because it hurts me to see you hurt,
and it hurts me because i can't do anything about it.
would ending our friendship mean anything to you?
or maybe you wouldn't even feel a thing.
cause again, i'm not as important to you than you are to me.
then again, maybe if we did i'd still be caring for you from afar.
because i just care too much.
(p.s. this is not a love confession lol.)
@maryxtinylamb
looneysea.tumblr.com
people say that when you care too much, you'll just get hurt.
even though you know you'll get hurt, you continue caring.
you'll care for the person no matter what because he or she is important to you.
no matter what he or she says, you will continue to care because he or she is someone you love.
i care for people a bit too much that it hurts. no matter what you say to me, i will never give you up.
but now it has come to a point where caring too much affects our friendship, and affects me too.
sometimes i just think, what would have happened if i didn't care too much.
i care for you from afar.
you just don't realise it.
i don't know if you even realise all those small little hints in my messages.
(or maybe you just don't want to say anything about it.)
sometimes, it silently hurts when you don't notice my efforts.
sometimes, it silently hurts when you don't take me seriously.
and sometimes, it silently hurts when you reply me with a joke.
i just don't understand why i care for you so much when i don't even know if you feel the same way.
i don't understand why i'm always having you in my mind.
i don't understand why or how you became so important to me and that i'm scared to lose you.
or maybe i'm just scared because i'm not as important to you than you are to me.
i'm scared of losing you one day.
but at the same time sometimes i just think of ending our friendship.
because it hurts me to see you hurt,
and it hurts me because i can't do anything about it.
would ending our friendship mean anything to you?
or maybe you wouldn't even feel a thing.
cause again, i'm not as important to you than you are to me.
then again, maybe if we did i'd still be caring for you from afar.
because i just care too much.
(p.s. this is not a love confession lol.)
@maryxtinylamb
looneysea.tumblr.com
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