talk

You know sometimes when you feel like there's something missing but you can't figure out what?

That's how I'm feeling now.

Me and bliz are somehow okay now, I've said my sorrys. But still, something doesn't seem right. I know, you're probably thinking, "Why do you even have a love life?" (my mom will kill me if she finds out about this hahah oops) things just happen, you know? You can't just avoid them.

Sometimes I ask myself, "I should really 'close' myself to these things. Why am I still bothered? I should be focused on my studies." But the feeling's still there. I need to know what it is before I can do anything else. It's not his fault that we're awkward now, but there's that something in between us. I've been thinking if I should talk to him (sorry mom) to sort things out. It just feels wrong. It just hurts.

The best memories hurt the most. 

That's what I've learnt. If I could ask someone to knock a flower pot on my head, i'd do it hahah. Then that way I'll forget everything that happened between us and I won't feel guilty or regretful anymore. I'll just walk past him and say "hi" normally like nothing ever happened. That would be much better, wouldn't it?

Sorry bliz if you're reading this. I don't know if you're still following me on twitter (which I doubt so) but if you somehow find this blog, don't ever feel regretful. You've had enough. Sorry again for making you feel bad and.. stuff. I'll try to set things right between us.

Sorry to my friends too who were affected. I really didn't mean to involve you and throw my tantrums at you. I'll figure things out during the holidays.

IN THE MEANTIME, i should really buck up in my studies. My grades dropped really badly (huhuhuhuhu) because of what happened and I should really wear those things that horses wear. So that I'll just look straight ahead.

So let's talk.

@maryxtinylamb