TMI + christmas

hey guys! 

so christmas is coming yay! 

and since christmas is coming, ( and cause of pure boredom ) , imma do the TMI tag YAY.
well you're supposed to do it on youtube, but since i'm not a youtuber i'll do mine here huehuehuhe
why not hehehheh no one's stopping me bahahahhhahah. ok imma start lol

1: What are you wearing?
    shirt and fbts lmao.

2: Ever been in love?
    i guess so.

3: Ever had a terrible breakup?
    no lol.

4: How tall are you?
    uhm.. 150 HAHA.

5: How much do you weigh?
    around 38-40kg?

6: Any tattoos?
    nope. 

7: Any piercings?
    only on my ears haha. 

8: OTP (One True Pairing)
    ASUNA AND KIRITO. 
    but i also like kaisoo and taeeun AHHA 

9: Favorite show
    sao. rewatched it countless times. 

10: Favorite bands
      i dont really have a specific band i like hahah.
     
11: Something you miss
      my lamb i lost 10 years ago.

12: Favorite song
      for now i like immortals aha. 

13: How old are you?
      turning 15 next year. ahem very soon ahem.

14: Zodiac sign
      dragoon.

15: Quality you look for in a partner
      he must be a friggin gentleman. someone who knows his manners.

16: Favorite Quote
      hahah the first thing that came into my mind was "you are the potato to my couch" HAHAH 
       creds to cheyenne lim shuang. 
      but a proper quote would probably be "ignorance is bliss" just because the word bliss sounds nice       HAAHHAHA. SO TUMBLRY. 

17: Favorite actor
      me laik josh hutcherson heheh.

18: Favorite color
      it changes. i like all so meh

19: Loud music or soft?
      soft. not too soft tho. 

20: Where do you go when you're sad?
      ma bed. or like, somewhere farfarfarfarfarfarfar away...

21: How long does it take you to shower?
      15-20 mins?? maybehh.

22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
      on school days like 45 mins to an hour HAHAH. 

23: Ever been in a physical fight?
      noop. 

24: Turn on
      hmmm guys with dimples maybe. 

25: Turn off
      super vulgar guys haha i'm sorry but it's a nono for me. 

26: The reason I joined Youtube
      imma skip. 

27: Fears
      i used to have a huge fear of the dark, now not so bad lah AHHA. 

28: Last thing that made you cry
      the last episode of sao pft. 

29: Last time you said you loved someone
      uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a few days ago..

30: Meaning behind your YouTube Name
     imma skip too lol. 

31: Last book you read
      everyday by david levithan. IM STILL READING IT PFT. 

32: The book you're currently reading
      ^ answered.

33: Last show you watched
      is lion king 2 counted hahah last video i watched was the pixar theory video lol.

34: Last person you talked to
      ehh my auntie. she asked me to close the door lol.

35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted
      uhm captains of each other's ships lmao what kind of-

36: Favorite food
      i love dem bk mexican drumlets bhahha.

37: Place you want to visit
      i wna go japannn. 

38: Last place you were
      school ugh

39: Do you have a crush?
      nah not now. aint nobody got time for dat.

40: Last time you kissed someone
      probably my brother lol. YOUNGER brother.

41: Last time you were insulted
      yesterday pft stupid cap.

42: Favorite flavor of sweet
      is coffee a flavor?

43: What instruments do you play
      piano, guitar ha ha ha ha.

44: Favorite piece of jewelry
     dem bracelet given by the bud AHAHA.

45: Last sport you played
      uhm idk i rarely play sports.

46: Last song you sang
      uhhhhh probably some christmas song tch AHAHHA IM FEELING FESTIVE GUYS. 

47: Favorite chat up line
      "YOU ARE MY POTATO TO MY COUCH" BAM. i still love that one.

48: Have you ever used it?
      no. HAHAHAHHAAH. i shall use it now. 

49: Last time you hung out with anyone
      with the gang last mondayyy hhaha. 

50: Who should answer these questions next?
      uhh whoever lah HAHAHHA i'm pretty sure everyone's too lazy to do this. 

ok yasss so merry christmas everyone! 

don't forget that there's a huge sale going on at h&m HAHA so buy dem clothes! 

i shall quote some christmas quote lol. totally got it from google HAHA.

Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.

so enjoy your last week of holidays loves!

 buy dem school books cos school starts in two weeks! 

@maryxtinylamb
    looneysea.tumblr.com

care too much

i know everyone has faced this before. caring too much.

people say that when you care too much, you'll just get hurt.

even though you know you'll get hurt, you continue caring.

you'll care for the person no matter what because he or she is important to you.

no matter what he or she says, you will continue to care because he or she is someone you love.


i care for people a bit too much that it hurts. no matter what you say to me, i will never give you up.

but now it has come to a point where caring too much affects our friendship, and affects me too.

sometimes i just think, what would have happened if i didn't care too much.

i care for you from afar.

you just don't realise it.

i don't know if you even realise all those small little hints in my messages.

(or maybe you just don't want to say anything about it.)

sometimes, it silently hurts when you don't notice my efforts.

sometimes, it silently hurts when you don't take me seriously.

and sometimes, it silently hurts when you reply me with a joke.

i just don't understand why i care for you so much when i don't even know if you feel the same way.

i don't understand why i'm always having you in my mind.

i don't understand why or how you became so important to me and that i'm scared to lose you.

or maybe i'm just scared because i'm not as important to you than you are to me.

i'm scared of losing you one day.

but at the same time sometimes i just think of ending our friendship.

because it hurts me to see you hurt,

and it hurts me because i can't do anything about it.

would ending our friendship mean anything to you?

or maybe you wouldn't even feel a thing.

cause again, i'm not as important to you than you are to me.

then again, maybe if we did i'd still be caring for you from afar.

because i just care too much.


(p.s. this is not a love confession lol.)

@maryxtinylamb
    looneysea.tumblr.com

how can love be so unkind

You say, that you've always been true
Looking in your eyes, I see you lie
You're trying hard to hide that
There someone new you found and,
You want me to believe that you still care

How can you hurt me this way
Everything I knew was loving you
How could you try pretending
Your love was never ending
Now you can't even say that you will stay

I can't seem to understand
How can love be so unkind
Still you broke my heart
Despite what I've done
Still my love was not enough
Though I given you my all
I can't take it anymore

How could you say you love me
When you would go and leave me
How could you make me hurt so bad
When I have loved you more than anyone can do
Can't believe the pain
That I'm feeling now because of loving you

@maryxtinylamb
    looneysea.tumblr.com

"Oh Mary, you've changed."

since i'm doing tbh on askfm now, i'll write one tbh here hehe;
tbh i wanted to blog about my ndp experience last month but it'd take years to type out all of the details so i gave up haha.

anyways.
today i realised that i was so oblivious to what was going on around me. i realised that i had been so blind this whole time. all this time i was just in my own world, thinking that everything was perfect. but no. of course it couldn't be.

for the past few weeks i have been hearing different stories from different people in my class. they all had different views of different matters. and when i collected all these 'data', i realised that i was being blindfolded the whole time. I didn't realise of how some people hated others, or of how some people are backstabbing each other without them knowing (not referring to anyone here. just in case some of my classmates are hating on me.)

i realised that i actually had a lot of people disliking me. and i actually wasn't aware of this cos initially i just didn't care. i just didn't bother. but when people said they started disliking me because they say that i've changed, do you even know anything?

if you said that "oh Mary, you've changed." how are you to know that? perhaps i did because i became stricter than before. but then again if you said i've changed because of the fact that i've been appointed as a councilor, think again. 

why am i asking you all to pull up your socks? why am i asking you all to stand up for morning assembly? why am i asking you all to keep quiet? (note: common sense?)
i'm sure you guys already know all the answers to these questions. those are simple school rules that i'm asking you guys to obey to.

from the start i didn't even want to change. i didn't want my primary school friends to change, in fact i didn't like change. i didn't choose to change, and those who said that i've changed a lot, i didn't even realise it myself.

so what if i've changed? who are you to judge me? do i still treat you the same way? have you known me long enough to know if i've actually changed from this kind of person to another? cos last time i checked, only my parents (and my sis) have known me well since birth.

moving on to another issue,
i don't like how some people are so full of words behind others' backs but when they face the person they become completely mute. they say so many things, so many swear words, so many complains, but they don't even dare to open their mouths when the person is right in front of them. isn't it a little illogical? i mean if you hate that person or how that person acts, just tell them. then they'd stop whatever they were doing to piss you off. wouldn't that solve the problem?

say it straight to my face of what you don't like about me, at least the outcome would be that i'd improve myself for you. wouldn't you want that? or maybe you wouldn't cos then you won't have anything to gossip about anymore. these kind of people are seriously weird.

moving on to the last one.
don't you find it a little stupid when someone's already pissed off and you still want to piss her off by joking. put yourself in her shoes. if you were the one who was pissed off and someone still continues mocking you. how'd you feel?

how to solve this? just shut up and don't say anything. why add fuel to the fire when you can extinguish it by keeping your mouth shut.

i usually try my best to keep my cool if my class gets out of control. you guys should be lucky that i don't just go around shouting at people. i'm still capable of that though.



and so lastly, whoever who finds anything annoying about me, be it my laugh, or my bad attitude (whatever it may be cos honestly i don't see anything 'bad' in my attitude), i'm sorry. so just have a mature mind and just friggin get over it. don't go plotting for revenge cos honestly that's just childish. ]


@maryxtinylamb
    looneysea.tumblr.com

it's ironic

in this mad world
where people hate society.
society is filled with hypocrites.
society talks about itself.
the sad truth is that
whoever is talking about society
is the society.
even i am a part of this society.
everyone is a part of the society.
yet everyone hates it.
it's ironic
of how people indirectly
talk about themselves.
it's ironic 
of how bullies say
"society sucks".
it's ironic
of how such judgmental people
say that the society is bad.
but then again
the real question is
at the end of the day
who is society?

(now the word society sounds weird.)

@maryxtinylamb
    looneysea.tumblr.com

the gooseberry ; perspectives

how do i even start this subject. haha.

anyway, a few months ago i was watching a show where a guy and a girl fell in love, but they weren't exactly together. they knew each other's feelings for each other, and they loved each other very very dearly. but something was bound to mess up this perfect couple. the guy got into an accident and he flew to another country, forgetting everything about the girl. then he got himself a new girlfriend, but of course he regained his memories and flew back to his home country for his first love. he left his girlfriend heartbroken.  

this show taught me a lot of things about love and everything else about it ( i loved how it was so relatable to me and other teens ) but this isn't my point. i'm here to talk about that girlfriend that he had in that other country. the fans of that show would say that she was a total dog, interfering with the guy and his first love's love life. but if you look at it in her perspective, you'd pity her and call the guy a jerk. 

if you changed the story and put yourself in her shoes, you'd feel her pain. her pain of how she felt cheated, her pain of how she felt like she was just the replacement, her pain of how she felt like she was just there to fill in that empty spot of his. it's painful for her, very painful.

this thought has actually been lingering in my mind for quite some time now, and it kinda hurts thinking about it. if i looked at it my way, if i'm the main character of that story, the people watching the show would say that the guy's first love would be the dog who stupidly came back to his mind and ended our perfect relationship. so it all depends on how you view the story. it all depends on your perspective of things. 

i'd be the dog if she was the main character.
she'd be the dog if i was the main character. 

i decided to share this as it's not always right to call your ex boyfriend's new girl a dog. it's not, at all. not that i had a boyfriend HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH but yeah.

i saw them happy, and i thought to myself that "i'd be that ugly b*tch in the show destroying their love story, so it's better to let them be and live on your own, dumping your past in the dustbin cause it doesn't have any use anymore."

me and ahem talk like normal friends now, and i guess both of us think that we have thrown our ugly yet beautiful past behind, but sadly that's not the case (for me at least) and we talk about his relationship alot. we're just super casual about it. it hurts sometimes, but i guess it's for the better.

and so me and my friend, francesca went to kfc last monday (12/5) and we saw him there. i said hi casually and he said hi back. he din't stop at our table though, he continued walking. then he sat beside his girlfriend, who was also in kfc. that made me realize that their relationship was real. i mean real. of course i knew that it was real from the start, but them being together right before my eyes was different. and that was then i told myself to really forget about everything, literally every stinking thing that happened between us.

and this is then why perspectives are very important. 

@maryxtinylamb
　looneysea.tumblr.com 

to your heart's content

a few weeks back, i sent an email to my ex-dance teacher from my primary school about "Mary's Adventures of Dance" and i thought that i'd share it with you guys too. Of course not the exact same words, just because HAHAHAH.

many of you have been asking me on ask.fm if i have any dance classes. i'd say no.

surprising or no? 

first, no dance classes cos no money mah, how go dance classes HAHHA. 

second, time consuming. kind of busy nowadays especially when it's exam period and the ndp thing going on. even on normal days when i'm completely free, i'm just lazy to get my butt off the sofa because #lazymary hehe. well in the first place if you'd ask me to choose between my laptop and dance, i'd choose my laptop HAHA jkjk. 

but yes, no dance classes. well, sunday stretching sessions in PA are an exception haha. they're not really dance lessons. 

so what got me into dance? 

well, cheesy story, it was my sister that got me into dance (and partially my primary school's talent contest). 

i asked my mom during dinner time a few days ago if i was already into dance when i was young, and she said "no? you were a singer and dance just came out of nowhere." and  i just laughed HAHAHAHAH   

dance just came when i was 10. there was that annual talent contest in my primry school, "kellock superstar" and at that time i didn't have any interest in dance. absolutely no interest in dance. (my cca from P4 to P6 was IT Club HAHA cannot believe or cannot believe?) but when i saw the contestants dancing, something struck me and after the performance, i stupidly vowed to myself that i'd join kellock superstar the year after. and i did. stupidly. 

so i signed up for the contest, picked two songs, combined it together and learned the dance, having no knowledge of dance at all. (credits to  my sis too. she learned the gee dance by snsd  and she inspired me hahahahah)  i watched the video every day to learn the steps and i stupidly (again) auditioned. it was a solo performance btw. and wow, surprisingly i got in. 

HAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHHAHHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAH.

AND SO I PERFORMED  MY DANCE ROUTINE AS A CONTESTANT 

but no i dint win cos there was no winner pft. teacher cheat my feelings. 

so yay first ever performance of dance was in 2011. and after that i started loving dance more and more. 

so 2012 came and i joined the contest again, this time with a group (gabby, patrina and sammi hahah thanks guys!!) so we danced our usual kpop to the whole school yay. of course there wasn't a winner again because idek pft.

so after the performance, we were asked by our teachers to perform more. 

on teacher's day we had to make another choreography and perform again, and also on children's day we were last minute called to do a gangnam style  mass dance lol (we danced in our uniforms which was kind of stupid cos we didn't have any costume) and yeah. 

the last performance was i guess our primary school's open house. this time, i danced with my class kpop (again), which was taught by that teacher that i emailed. the song was i am the best by 2ne1 and for some weird reason, our vice principal put my class as the opening act lol. i cannot i just cannot HAHAHHA thinking about it makes me laugh. 

and yeah, after primary school i took dance to a whole new level. i asked for a lot of advice from my ex-dance teacher about dance and if i should really take dance seriously. i must say that his advice-s were really good and i guess he kind of molded me into the person i am now. 

i decided to join the dance cca and cheerleading and i've enjoyed it so far. 

of course nothing in life easy, including dance. 

there are a hella lot of strenuous stretching, and it can be extremely painful sometimes. some dancers start at a young age and that leads me to be behind them cos i'm not flexible in any sort hahaa. fyi i cant do splits AHHAHA so it's harder for me when it comes to flexibility. 

i am though willing to take that risk to break bones and stuff to make my self a better dancer cos omg you know when i watch videos of myself dancing i just /le facepalm.  

i am planning to take dance seriously, but the life of a dancer is usually very short so i'm not really sure what i'll be doing yet, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo yah. 

my passion of dance is still burning strong and i guess i've found what i really want to do in my life and i hope you'll find yours too :) 

AS A BONUS, 

i've decided to show you an ugly fetus of my old ugly bony self a video of me dancing to wonder girls.  

PFT. (i'm the one in the middle with the green long dress haha) so ugly omg i cannot

this is kinda blur so if you want the link, click this heart ♥

@maryxtinylamb
    looneysea.tumblr.com

あなたと

stealing

glances

showing

emotions

confessing

feelings 

caring

for you

worrying 

about you

lying 

to me

waiting

for the right time

becoming 

a lunatic 

barely breathing. 

scared

dont bring my hopes up.
this was what i wanted, but why does it seem like i dont want it anymore?

i hated you because you didn't even bother putting in the effort.
and now, you're being all nice and friendly.
not that i hate it or anything, but i'm just scared.
scared that we're gonna go through the exact same thing we did the last time.

things didn't end the way it was supposed to the last time.
you forgot about everything we did together.

i'm scared.
not because of you
but because of the fact that we're back to good friends again.

i'm scared that we'll take the same route as we did before
that just made us stuck at a dead end where there was a cliff.
the cliff that made everything crashing down for me
because you decided to climb down
and follow her at the bottom of the cliff.

what if we took that route all over again?

i'm scared.
i'm really scared.

@maryxtinylamb
    looneysea.tumblr.com

valentine + realization

happy ((belated)) valentine's day guys!

hope your day was great. this year's valentine's was great cos i received more gifts than i expected HAHA it doesnt mean anything tho. i didnt receive from anyone unexpected so it was sad lol but it's okay hahahah!!

of course like many others out there, i didnt really have a valentine. like duh, i'm single. my valentine was food cos everyone gave me food hehehe. and three of my friends who gave me valentines gifts included

"get a boyfriend soon"

in their cards so i gave them the face. you know, the face. that face. HAHAHAHHA.

valentine's this year made me realize that people actually care for me. i mean, i know that people actually do care but valentine's proved that i'm in their minds and they actually know that i exist and i'm not some outsider.

but (i know i'm not supposed to start a sentence with a 'but') this year's valentines made me realize something else. warning: this second part of my post will be kind of harsh for some people, so please dont take them to heart and start hating me.

i know everyone wants people to listen to their stories, their adventures, their embarrassing moments, their everything. but what i realized is that people dont really give a damn about your shit.

i was talking to my friends about my cousin(s) and they tried hard to look interested.

here's the dirty fact:

they're not interested at all.

i know my stuff and we dapitos have thing specialty of 'reading minds' ((not literally)) but i know that they're the least interested of what i was saying.

tell me; who would want to listen to a person talking about his/her cousin? no one. why? because it's not related to them at all. i mean- think about it. would you listen to something not related to you at all? maybe it might to some people, depends on what kind of a person you are.

if i tell you, "hey! i did you know that my friend came to donate to me earlier on?" will you be the least interested? maybe. you may be interested of who that friend was.

but if i tell you, "hey! did you know that my  sister came to donate to me earlier on?" will you now be the least interested.  i doubt so. simply because my sister isn't yours. why would you care?

and so if you want to tell someone about your adventures and stuff you did with some adults, i suggest you write a book about it instead.

/ahem indirecting people ahem/

@marytinylamb

    looneysea.tumblr.com

trip to the philippines pt. II

back with the second part of trip to the philippines :)

so on the 24th as everyone knows, it's christmas eve. it's my 2nd(?) time celebrating christmas in the philippines coz i think the first time me and my sis were super young and we don't remember a thing coz all we knew that time was "googoogahgah".
so i considered this my first time spending christmas in the philippines with my cousins :D apparently, it was their first time celebrating together too, coz they usually celebrate new year together instead of christmas. HAHA.

we dressed up like rich people that night HAHAH wearing pretty party dresses and stuff (but the guys didnt wear tuxes coz idek hahah)

it was awkward wearing makeup by the way.

so yay!! christmas eve ended quickly coz we were having sooooooo much fun <3 played with humungous sparklers and lit up fireworks too!! (can't do those in singapore :p) so...... time to tell my boring story about 2013's christmas.

spent the whole christmas at one of my aunt's house doing nothing lmao. i just watched my guy cuzzies play billiard slash pool slash whatever you call it. and i didn't know how to play so i was super bored. HAHAH. stayed in my aunt's house for about 4 hours sleeping and doing nothing coz srsly, there was nothing to do. and some cousins of mine ditched me at the house -_- so yeah, christmas gone just like that. ahahha.

so YAY FINALLY BAGUIO. there'll be a hella lots of pics so beware thanks.

left bataan at about 7 in the morning and the travelling took about 5 to 6 hours. 

 ( i was so friggin sleepy thanks) 

oooo that's actually a nice candid photo ^ LOL. anyway... when we reached baguio i think it was about 17 degrees? coz it's up up up the mountains. it was super cold but i like those kind of weathers haha. where the sun is shining so brightly but the weather is colddd~~ it's a super nice feeling ♥ 

so we ended the day like that :) anndddd i think i should stop here now coz i think there'll be too much photos for this post. hahaha!! will post pt. III soon!! and i hope part 3'll be the last post of my philippines trip hehehehe. 

to be honest, posting pictures on my blog is not really...... my style? idk? but since i'm not such a big fan of facebook, i guess blogspot is a better platform to post about my journeys plus their pictures. 

so yeah, until next time guys!

@maryxtinylamb

   looneysea.tumblr.com

2K14 + philippines trip pt. I

happy new year guys!
this'll be my first blog this year so i'll be updating about my trip in the philippines :)

left singapore on the 18th and lived in my uncles house in makati for a day.
on the 19th, we left for sta. rosa, laguna where my grandparents live. since we didnt have much cousins there, we spent most of our times going out of the house shopping, etc. hehe

forgot where we went on the 19th and 20th, but on the 21st we went to TAGAYTAY ♥

writing some names ~ gifts for my special friends back in singapore!!

we went horseback riding woohoo!! the horse's tailbone was hurting my butt though.

with our grandpa and grandmaaaaaa outside the souvenir shop :)

 there's my mom. in the middle. she's not our sister. 

yay. solo. this horse kept on going rounds. i wanted it to run lol but i didn't know how to speak in tagalog fluent so yeah 

so yay bye bye tagaytayyyy

after that we went to nuvali/solenad 1 and 2 to eat dinner and meet some old friends :) sadly, i didnt take much pictures and i'm too lazy to reach for the memory card right now lol so sorry, no photos :p 

on the 22nd night, we went to bataan!! yay! it's where my mom and her relatives live and we have many many many many cousins thereeee so it's really exciting there. since it was already night, we slept after eating dinner LOL. 

the next day we finally visited our cousins! 

we went on a cousin outing together hehehe ♥ 

 (poor cousin taking the photo. he's not in the shot xD sorry kuya aeron.) 

we went to eat at macdonald's. (and we saw one of my cousin's crush there lol) 

guess what we ate? friggin coffee float ♥ we dont have those in singapore :p 

after macdonald's, we went bowling WHOO.
I was their 'secret weapon' since i couldnt get a score.
the ball kept on rolling into the gutter LMAO. 

 (you can see a little bit of my tummy there coz i was wearing a crop)

i got scolded by the fellow man in black (with the blue ball) in the picture for wearing skirts and shorts in bataan. he said that it was too revealing and i was attracting too many eyes LOL.
and so when we finally decided to go home, we saw our aunt and uncle there and they decided to libre us (treat us) in chowking ♥♥ eat again HAHA LOL. we spoiled brats.

(that's the guy who scolded me lol)

(acting sexy — failed.)

woohoo cousins together <3 

gna continue pt. II in my next blogpost so stay tuned!

p.s. most of the pictures are from facebook btw so if you're my fb friend i think you'll find the pics quite familiar haha

@maryxtinylamb
    looneysea.tumblr.com